Gifts

We are presented with many gifts during our lifetime.  Some of them are things you can hold in your hands and immediately appreciate.  Other gifts are not as noticeable and may take time to fully identify them as gifts.  Many times we cringe and would like to just return our gift.  One of those so-called gifts that I would like to have returned or not accepted was when my mother-in-law started experiencing, during her declining years, dementia.  How would one look at this as a gift?  So many questions and concerns arose during that time between my husband and me.  We were both running our small business and worried about the additional challenges presented to us in coordinating doctors’ appointments for both his parents, shopping for food (as neither could drive anymore) and being able to give them quality time because they were living alone.   It was a very scary time; but surprisingly it was also, very definitely, a gift for us! Having the ability to look at this as a gift takes bundling together in a beautiful package all the years of my role as girlfriend to my high school sweetheart, my husband (her son), to my role as wife to her son, as daughter-in-law and the many other parts played in my relationship with my mother-in-law.  Often, gifts come from our trials and frustrations, and then understanding and embracing those difficult times with the people in our lives.  We all have a choice in how we look at the gifts we are given.  The gift of being joyful during a very difficult time for our family only came due to that history of stories built on trust, love, acceptance, and yes, probably a little bit of complaining when those roles were stretched too thin.  During her difficult last years, my husband and I did our very best to make sure his mother still felt our love.  I remember my unexpected, total joy when I would walk in their living room.  Mom was always in the same spot on the couch.  I would walk into the room and her face would just light up with a big smile.  As in the story of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” the narrator says “Well, in Whoville they say – that the Grinch’s small heart (and my heart) grew three sizes that day.”  There was my gift!  The one that before I desperately would have returned.  I couldn’t think of a better way I wanted to spend my time right then and there.  So, my friends, when has there been a time in your life when a gift given WASN’T wrapped in a pretty package with a bright colorful bow?  Our life experiences are all gifts, even if we don’t recognize it at the time.  I recognize that I grew from that experience, even with all the difficulties and her ultimate passing.  When we get together with my father-in-law now (who is 97), we still share with each other all the stories of this woman that was loved so much.  We smile, we laugh, and we also shed some tears.  All of this is my gift, wrapped up and presented to me.   Let’s, together, say a special prayer during this season of giving – Dear Jesus, help me to always accept ALL of your gifts with love, gratitude and total acceptance. May I always rely on your choice of gifts for directing my life towards your love.  Amen

“Give, and it will be given to you.  Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap.  For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”  Luke 6:38